Two stranger looking people than Bill and Giuliana Rancic, I have never seen. One has the bulbous nose of a novelty pair of glasses and the other has a chin as week as my attempt to make the seventh grade wrestling team. But once upon a time they were both quite normal looking. The male was handsome enough to smile his way into winning a TV game show and the other was able to smuggle her way into the exciting world of nebulous celebritydome.
But ever since the pair joined their wonder twin powers in matrimony, they’ve taken a tumble down the ugly slide. I see only be two explanations: 1) I need new glasses 2) they’ve made a deal with the devil that goes thusly: as the two slowly get more and more famous they grow more and more deformed. So, when the rapture comes and Dr. Faust finally shows his twisted, hideous face he wont’ be that unappealing by comparison.
It’s a classic ruse. I mean, how else is the devil going to be accepted into any social situations without laying a little groundwork? Even hard-core Satanists will be off put all the worms and brimstone dandruff no matter how much they love Him. It’s tough to attend a party if nobody can stomach the mere sight of you. It’s easier to change the definition of ugly than to change who you are.
In sum, the main driver behind Bravo’s Bill and Giuliana is prepping our sensibilities for an inevitable rise from the underworld. In fact, I won’t be surprised if the majority of Reality Television is created only to further Satin’s eventual rise from the depths. How else would you explain this?
tl;dr: The only logical conclusion I can draw about Giuliana and Bill is that it’s TV programmed by the Devil.